Tama Kieves

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Forgiving Your Mother, Yourself, and Everyone: This is Your Lifetime to Get it Right

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(This is an excerpt from an article I just released in my e-newsletter. Want a copy? Get it here)

This Mother’s Day you have the chance to get it right. 

 

You have the chance to open up to the one of the most significant relationships of your life. (Or moms, same goes with your kids.) My mom left this planet back in 2011. One of the best things I ever did with my life was work on healing my relationship with her. The struggle to love and forgive is a worthy struggle. It’s heroic. And it will affect every other relationship in your life.  And guess what?  For me, it all came down to loving myself. Go figure. 

So this is a piece I wrote years ago, while visiting my mother in upstate New York. (I’ve edited it today.) I felt challenged at the time. I wanted to be the perfect daughter. But there’s something about dealing with our families that’s like taking acid. You go on a trip. Things come out of the blue. People grow extra heads. Then you come back and you think– what was that all about?

“Those who see themselves as whole make no demands,” teachesA Course in Miracles. Well, clearly, those who seem themselves as wild animals act accordingly.

Being with my mother, I can’t believe how quickly I am triggered. I am A Course in Miracles teacher, which if you don’t know is all about forgiveness and choosing love. But as I hide away upstairs in the cutesy, cluttered guest bedroom of my mother’s townhouse, I wonder if the material really only works for my students. Because at the moment I’m foaming at the mouth. That can’t be good.  

The truth is I’m tired. I’m weakened. I don’t have it in me to be conscious and centered. So I have to forgive myself. I am trying. I am daring. I am not saying cruel things, even when I caress the knives in my mind. I am trying. I am daring, I remind myself. I know my intentions are 90% pure.

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